The Rise and Fall of Relationships (as told by Breaking Bad)

Explaining the Rise and Fall of Relationships

(with a little help from my good buddies at...)

***Before we even do this.... can I just say that I love Hank and I'm rewatching the whole thing and I'm on season 4 and I'm like.... like my heart is breaking for poor ole Hank. God love him. OK lets do this!*

Everyone starts the single life a little emo (once it hits them that they're single). Maybe you're just getting out of some kind of thing... or maybe you've just lived your entire life as an asshole. Whooo knows!

So you busy yourself with trivial things. Maybe you binge watch a series of something on netflix... maybe you waste your $$$ on weird and unnecessary thingamajigs to distract yourself from being you know.. alone or whatever.

All the while you're just like.. Hey man, what's wrong with me? I'm pretty friggen awesome. Coeds should be linin' up fer a bitta dis awesomeness!

And then, out of no where... some super cool but awkward and smart and funny and all things good in the world shows up and ur like.. HAYYYYYYY ;) 

And they're like... HOLY SHAT WHERE U BEEN ALL MY LYFE

And for a while things are just the bees knees, u know? You guys are all...expanding each others horizons and whatever... becoming better people etc etc etc. Shit's just THSUPERR!

And I mean, sure they have their little quirks, like eating kale salads or something nasty like that.. but those differences just makes them even more interesting!

But then simple things start turning into bigger deals... and suddenly all those weird things that were quirky and adorable are just reeeeeal friggen annoying.

NO SHIT THANKS FOR TELLING ME

And then they start keeping shit from you...

And criticizing your everything

And just being an all around *expletive deleted*

At some point the lines of communication break down

And there might come a time when you resort to name calling

So instead you try to find solace in other things

And then... you know.... surprise surprise things don't work out and that once super romantic and adorable relationship you had going for you ceases to exist.

So you spend some time catching up on your "you" time. Doing all the "you" things that you need to do to get back to some kind of normality.

And when that doesn't work you turn to your girl friends. And you whine and whine and be annoying etc etc etc.

But your friends, because they're your friends, don't let you get on with that shit; they tell you all the things you already know. THAT BOY WAS A WASTE OF TIME GURL YOU CAN DO BETTER MMMHMMM

preach it, girl!

So you do what anyone should do post-break up and get rid of all the things that remind you of said person who wasted your time

And you say goodbye to all them memories you thought you were gonna make with your imaginary kids and imaginary house with your imaginary sunny weather every day

And then before you know it, you get up, dust yourself off... and get back into the world better and wiser than before.

But then, you know... if that doesn't work there's always the nearest Home Depot

Jk :)

Fin.