Sorry for the delay on this post! I know a lot of people were aware I went to Budapest a few weeks ago, and I keep saying this blog is partly about traveling so I'd imagine those people were like 'yeah comics whatever where tf is europe u dirtbag'... so without further adeu, here are some of the highlights of my Budapest trip (because otherwise the blog entry would be a friggin' novel)...
THE BUDAPEST TRIP
The idea of traveling to Budapest was more or less on a whim. Hungary has never really been on my list of places I had to visit (quite possibly because I could barely point to it on a map and have never done a day of history lectures in my entire life), but nevertheless a few weeks ago I found myself buying a ~22 hour travel time adventure to a country I've never been that doesn't even speak the same language as I.
For all intents and purposes, this was a solo-female traveler excursion - my first solo excursion outside North America and also not to a resort!
Flights: Lufthansa (Economy/Business)
....ok so I may have splurged a little more than I should have, given that I'm a person of meagre means/no income, but the business class on the Lufthansa flights I took was. the. bomb. The chairs went all the way back into a bed!!!! I got a free bar of chocolate! I got all kinds of cheese and buns and stuff! I could have taken wellness classes while flying (literally)... but I used the time instead for wine and sleep. I regret nothing.
Even the bathroom was classy with its Ren products and its porthole window you could look out while pooping if you should so desire!
 |
| So many buttons to push... |
 |
| So much leg room omg |
 |
| omg the cheese and balls of butter WHAT |
 |
Think i'll check myself out in this full-length
bathroom mirror WHAT |
 |
| Dat view tho. |
The City
I stayed in Budapest during the first 2 weeks of May, which turned out to be a wonderful time weather-wise (with the exception of numerous warm downpours), but not so much a great time in terms of the company I kept. Nevertheless, my couples-excursion was converted to a solo-world-adventure in which I explored a vast amount of the Pest half of Budapest (and a tiny amount of the Buda half) by foot. The ole Fitbit never knew what hit 'er.
Budapest is beautiful in a ye olde colonial way. The buildings are all constructed with big pillars, mosaics and sculptures everywhere and the locals are all very friendly! I still felt a bit of the communist vibe when I went to the parliament but I guess that's to be expected given it's only been about 25yrs since things changed. The city itself is a city of reminders of all the flaws in their past, which I appreciated being a person who has never taken a history class in her life, and also as a person who is pretty big on human rights.
Parliament 
Parliament was only a 15minute walk from where I stayed, and is a massive behemoth of a piece of property. I didn't go inside because, frankly I was a little freaked out by the guards and you know, the big rungs of rope keeping me from going indoors or on the grass. I did, however, wander around like the tourist I am and stared at things from afar while trying to make them look majestic on camera.
 |
"Misses can I borrow your stone pencil?"
"Bitch get yo' own pencil" |
The one thing I want to note is on Parliament there is an underground monument-type thing about a mysterious tragedy that occurred in October 1956. That underground showcase will haunt me for years to come. I couldn't take pictures, nor did I want to, but I am wiser to know what the people of Budapest went through in order to obtain their freedom from Communism. It's just really F'ing sad to go back up into the light with the lush greenery, beautiful statues of horses and thousands of tourists with their selfie-sticks after seeing that massacre. When I came back up from viewing everything and being thoroughly disturbed, I saw a little old man sitting in the distance staring up at the parliament building - he looked easily old enough to remember the massacre. And I felt so bad knowing that there were still people with real memories of the day their loved ones were slaughtered. Honestly, I wanted to throw up and so at that point I left the square and wandered onward to find something less tragic to focus on.
 |
| Bye Parliament. |
Shoes on the Danube
Not to be outdone by Parliament's commemoration of 1956, are the Shoes on the Danube.
The Danube river is the large body of water that separates Budapest into Buda and Pest. During WW2, the river was also used as a method of getting rid of bodies after unfortunate souls were lined up, shot and killed by the Arrow Cross. Some time afterward (2005), a sculptor reconstructed several dozen pairs of shoes out of iron in typical 1940s fashion to memorialize the location that those people were murdered.
That was singlehandedly the most powerful memorial I have ever seen.
Fisherman's Bastion
Fisherman's Bastion is, unfortunately, the only thing I had the opportunity to see on the Buda side of Budapest! It's known as one of the most romantic places to visit in the city, and with good reason. The big stone castle has ye olde music players at the top and within the bleached white stone walls, there's turrets to explore and all kinds of food/wine to buy if you were so inclined. I was acutely aware that I wasn't with a significant other while there, since everyone else and their dog had someone to hold hands with. Yolo.
 |
| Fisherman's Bastion |
 |
Hey buddy in the creepy hallway, play me a tune
|
The Ruin Pubs (Szimpla Kert)
From what I can gather, Ruinpubs are/were abandoned buildings that have been makeshifted into hippin' hoppin' night clubs that during the day are kind of awkward boring locations to visit as a tourist for a cheap drink. I visited the most popular (Szimpla Kert) in the Jewish district. It was very similar to what I previously mentioned... Kind of a hodgepodge of things that looked as though they were taken from garbage dumps (tricycles on the ceiling, etc) and put on the walls/ceiling/floors/etc. Not exactly the most polite crew at 3pm, nor the best food by any means (tasted pretty store bought), but was a fine enough location to walk to and from. I wouldn't go out of my way to go to any others though.
Food!
Prior to my Budapest trip I was doing the vegetarian ketogenic diet, but knowing how restrictive that can be (every single meal had to be custom made by me) I opted to go back to a normal ovo-lacto vegetarian diet while traveling. Which meant cheese. A lot of cheese. In many different forms (ie., cheesecake). The most amazing of all cheesecakes was the Black Mamba at Edesmindegy. Omfg. Peanut butter and chocolate and graham wafer etc etc etc I can't describe to you how good it was unless I use the one true sentence:
I ate it one morning... for breakfast.
 |
| Wars could have been fought for this cheesecake. |
There are two other vegetarian specialties within the hungarian food world, both of which look very similar in writing but are completely different in person. And one is super gross. Of course, I went looking for the delicious one (Langos - fried bread dough with toppings... kind of like a supreme Touton/Beavertail) and in doing so ended up ordering the gross one (Lecso), which was a mishmash of vegetarian stew that had scrambled eggs in it for some reason. How unfortunate.
 |
| What. Is this. Stew with identity crisis: Lecso |
Other things you need to know: Budapest knows how to do Sushi and Indian Food. oh. mygod.
Anyway, that seems like a lengthy enough review! Sorry I didn't touch on all the things (the baths, Margaret Island, the bridges, etc), but hopefully this will be of some help to someone when they're trying to figure out if they want to go to Budapest <3
