"I SHALL MAKE WEIRD FACES AT YOU WHILE YOU STUDY ...YOU LIKE IT IT HELPS"
....I've been sitting opposite to boyfriend at the kitchen table purposely making freakish facial expressions as a sign of support for his hard working-ness. As a sign of his appreciation to my valiant effort to be understanding to his academic pressures, Boyfriend sent me a link to busy myself with titled "25 Signs You're Succeeding At Life (Even If It Doesn't Feel Like It)".
Presuming that "proper capitalization when writing a blog title" isn't on their list, I decided to respond to his link, not by reading it, but rather by barraging him with my own haphazard list that I haven't thought through whatsoever.
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| Exhibit A - Dr. A thinking she's funny |
The following list has been brought to you by my need to be busy without being helpful in any way, shape or form, and the fine folks at Moist Books "hey! who left these books out in the rain? WE DID" who also have been sponsoring Rush Limbaugh (pharmacy throwback!):
So, without further adieu, here is what we shall call "Half Inebriated 20-Something-Aged White Girl's 25 Signs You Are THE Success at Life".
Half Inebriated 20-Something-Aged White Girl's 25 Signs You Are THE Success at Life
1. You Have a Mac (apple computer that is less than 10lbs in weight)
2. You are reading this list while currently drinking bottle of wine that is > 20 dollars
3. You own at least three pairs of sunglasses (at least one pair must be the same price or higher as your bottle of wine)
4. Occasionally you go on online shopping binges, and can actually pay off the Visa bills in a reasonable amount of time
5. Regular bowel movements (rabbit buttons don't count!)
6. You've read at least SOME of the PostSecret books and/or know enough about it to have an opinion
7. You have a dog who isn't a total fail at life (I guess cats count too...)
8. You know how to pass that level in Goldeneye64 where you're by the computers and Natalya is all like COVER ME and you're like SHIT SHIT THERES SO MANY RANOM SHOOTERS WTF (jon tells me its the Complex... Boris is such a little shitface).
9. You can pay at least 25% of your own expenses
10. You know enough to know that Cosmo magazine is full of shit
11. You've kept at least one plant alive for > 1yr and/or own a wind chime
12. You relate more to your mother/aunt/primary caregiver than the generation behind you (seriously, wtf Beibs!? Get it together!)
13. You know the price of gas and are pretty pissed that you have to put so much friggen money into nonsense like that
14. You have a favourite breakfast sandwich (but it's still a special-day when you have it, not an everyday thing that you're like UGH SICK OF HAVING YET ANOTHER TIM HORTONS SUNDRIED TOMATO BAGEL WITH LETTUCE CHEESE TOMATO AND BUTTER WORST)
15. You bought your own car (holy shat)
16. You do not have a 4 foot x 4 foot sized Jimmy Hendrix/Johnny Depp/Jim Morrison/Black light poster up in the middle of your hallway
17. You do not own and proudly display any drug paraphernalia
18. You've gone through solid contemplation about turning off all the heat and just living in 80 blankets per night rather than paying another month of retarded electricity bills in the winter. WTF am I just bleeding money?
19. You have personal preferences for tea/coffee (I find blond better because its more mellow and nutty in the morning, but the blond at starbucks gives me heartburn, etc etc etc)
20. Your reward for finishing your most recent semester of university was buying that expensive new volume of some academic book because TREAT YOSELF (to more learning)!
21. You have a personal preference for toilet paper brands (and Scott just aint gonna cut it!)
22. Your email has none of the following nouns in it: sex, xxx, 69, angel, hottt, sexyyyy, babyyyy, (any multiple of the letter y), kitten, luvr (or any other derivative of poorly spelled word), any @yahoo or @aol ... cuz like come on, its not 1995... jesus.
23. You do not have a Geocities website (although the Sunset Strip is still pretty sexy not gonna lie I'd click dat link)
24. Sleep is at least 63% more important than partying
25. You read and/or comment on random MedSchool girls blog and totally feel cool for doing it (or mentioning it in class, or telling your friends.... RELENTLESS SELFISH PLUG TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY SICK BLOG OMFG
7. You have a dog who isn't a total fail at life (I guess cats count too...)
8. You know how to pass that level in Goldeneye64 where you're by the computers and Natalya is all like COVER ME and you're like SHIT SHIT THERES SO MANY RANOM SHOOTERS WTF (jon tells me its the Complex... Boris is such a little shitface).
9. You can pay at least 25% of your own expenses
10. You know enough to know that Cosmo magazine is full of shit
11. You've kept at least one plant alive for > 1yr and/or own a wind chime
12. You relate more to your mother/aunt/primary caregiver than the generation behind you (seriously, wtf Beibs!? Get it together!)
13. You know the price of gas and are pretty pissed that you have to put so much friggen money into nonsense like that
14. You have a favourite breakfast sandwich (but it's still a special-day when you have it, not an everyday thing that you're like UGH SICK OF HAVING YET ANOTHER TIM HORTONS SUNDRIED TOMATO BAGEL WITH LETTUCE CHEESE TOMATO AND BUTTER WORST)
15. You bought your own car (holy shat)
16. You do not have a 4 foot x 4 foot sized Jimmy Hendrix/Johnny Depp/Jim Morrison/Black light poster up in the middle of your hallway
17. You do not own and proudly display any drug paraphernalia
18. You've gone through solid contemplation about turning off all the heat and just living in 80 blankets per night rather than paying another month of retarded electricity bills in the winter. WTF am I just bleeding money?
19. You have personal preferences for tea/coffee (I find blond better because its more mellow and nutty in the morning, but the blond at starbucks gives me heartburn, etc etc etc)
20. Your reward for finishing your most recent semester of university was buying that expensive new volume of some academic book because TREAT YOSELF (to more learning)!
21. You have a personal preference for toilet paper brands (and Scott just aint gonna cut it!)
22. Your email has none of the following nouns in it: sex, xxx, 69, angel, hottt, sexyyyy, babyyyy, (any multiple of the letter y), kitten, luvr (or any other derivative of poorly spelled word), any @yahoo or @aol ... cuz like come on, its not 1995... jesus.
23. You do not have a Geocities website (although the Sunset Strip is still pretty sexy not gonna lie I'd click dat link)
24. Sleep is at least 63% more important than partying
25. You read and/or comment on random MedSchool girls blog and totally feel cool for doing it (or mentioning it in class, or telling your friends.... RELENTLESS SELFISH PLUG TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY SICK BLOG OMFG
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