The Journey to be a Dragon Mom (just like Game of Thrones!)

While attempting to study for my paediatrics final this afternoon, I found myself unabashedly depressed. I tried napping, but that didn't make me feel better. I ate some indian food... but that just made me gassy.
And then I realized what was missing in my life: Dragons.

So this begat a journey unlike any other (that is a lie, many people have done this) to the store. Not just any store! The store for people who are too cheap to go to their hair dressers and get shit done professionally. That's right, Sally's.

So to every male that's reading this, sorry bros you gotta deal with some serious chick business up in hurr. But if you're a REAL man, you'll grow a pair and you'll follow me along this wondrous journey to become a Targaryen Mother of Dragons!

Step One: Put on really ugly clothes (I prefer my walmart sweater with bleach stains and weird holes from dog-teeth), roll your hair up like a boss (half up half down like you're a Who from Whooville), then put on the cheapest gloves you can find. YOU ARE GOING TO USE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE ASSHOLE - shit burns. 

........Look at all dis stuff ! ---->

Step Two: Read instructions on box. Realize it tells you to wet your stupid hair. Resort to prying cheap gloves off your hands and shove your head in the sink because the shower is like.. three whole feet away and I can't be bothered with that kind of exercise. 

Step Three: Put all the mush on your head. Find something to do for 30 mins

Step Four: Panic because the mush on your head turned purple and also is beginning to feel like fire ants to the scalp. Worry that maybe you will die and perhaps you should call a friend to bail your ass out when this whole thing doesn't pan out any better than a burnt pancake from a discredible dollarama non-stick frying pan. While waiting for said companion, take a selfie or three.

Step Five: Take off painful mush from head/face/arms/sink/floor/clothes. Wash/dry hair. Anticipation of all kinds to be the next most awesome Daenerys Targaryan lookalike which will in turn result in dragons mystically appearing ASAP to be ur babies. 

Step Six: Be disappointed because none of that happened.

Step Seven: Realize that you didn't need to dye your hair to be the mother of dragons - YOU HAD A BABY DRAGON ALL ALONG! OMGGGgggg111!!!!!11!!1

Step Eight: After important lesson (re: step seven) about self-confidence has been achieved, waste 25 mins trying to do the best Winterfell meme possible. Be happy cuz at least you can make yourself have one lazy eye whenever you wants for pics, and that's pretty alright in my books!

Fin.

-A.