Dr. A's Guide to Human Interaction

May 1st marks the beginning of a series of 30 day challenges I have agreed to as a valiant attempt to better myself as a human being. It all began with "30 days of yoga", compliments of the proposition encountered at Moksha Yoga downtown. After a solid month of him-hawing about whether or not this was an endeavour I wished to pursue, I decided "yeah, fuck it" (or, in the world of G-rated inter webs: YOLO).

The 30-day moksha challenge then expanded in my mind to become "30-days of no alcohol". Given that I initiated this blog with a wine review one random tuesday afternoon, you can imagine how easy my multi-30-day-festivus will be. Nevertheless, here we are and so to commemorate this wondrous occasion, I have decided to initiate the month with a blog best-titled as Dr. Ang's Guide to Human Interaction.

It's quite obvious by my perpetual partying and joyous mood that I am SUPER popular and clearly talented in the ways of communicating with my peers (note: this is sarcasm. I never go out and I'm a big cranky loser no big deal, moving on). The following are real comments I have made to real people (maybe even, you!). If you like, you may download these images to use at your discretion, should you find yourself in interaction with a human which requires such communicative methods. I promise on behalf of my own personal experience that each and every comment is always perfectly acceptable and appreciated by said person you are directing it to. So without further delay, here they be:

Oh... and by the way: you're welcome.

Quoteable No.1: 

This particular comment was administered to a human after they told me something that I'm sure was important and possibly distressing at the time, but I have a problem with listening so... I don't really remember the events surrounding said comment. HOWEVER, and without a doubt, this statement can be used in SO many facets of conversation. Make sure you use the correct grammar/spelling/punctuation (what am I, an english major?) because otherwise the person might not take you seriously.

Quoteable No. 2:

Perhaps you have a human in your life that is feeling insecure. Maybe they are of the fortune to be looking to you for some kind of confidence booster. Well.. here ya go! Just try not to use it too much; much like certain Charizard attacks, it's SUPER effective. You don't wanna be giving people a fat head by reminding them that overall they are adequate as a person.

Quoteable No.3:

Is someone in your life complaining about how their foot fell asleep and now they can't get off the couch and get to yoga in time (coughmecough)? ... or maybe they've been rambling for a solid 20minutes about like, the unpleasantries of bird poop on their car windshield and how it impacted their day VASTLY... but then realized they have been beating said issue to death... or they noticed your eyes glazing over (unless you're me, and you do most of your conversations on Facebook)?.... well this is EXACTLY the comment those people are looking for. Let them know its alright to be upset with an encouraging and supportive, totally nonoffensive statement.
Plus points if you straight up send them the image cuz that tranquil lake will totally help unravel their stresses.

Quoteable No.4:

Bolster someone's self esteem while you let that less-than-special person down easy with this mutually-respectful sentence, all at the same time!

Quoteable No.5: 

Maybe you've been pondering, nay, agonizing, over the perfect way to tell someone that they mean the world to you.... well there ya go: problem solved.

Quoteable No. 6: 

Express to the one you cherish that, while you respect their opinion and their hopes and dreams and whatever, sometimes it's just not cool to bring up deep existential crises while concurrently trying to appeal to your sexy side.

Quoteable No. 7, 8 and 9: THESE ARE ALL PICK UP LINES. USE THEM WISELY BECAUSE THEY ARE 100% THE RIGHT THING TO SAY TO ANYONE AT ANYTIME NO MATTER WHAT (again, all personally tested by me)
...I am the definition of romance. Trust me. I know how to woo.

And lastly, one for the ladies:

In conclusion, spread this wealth of savvy communication tools widely. And remember, if all else fails... there's always the gems from the 9gag comments section to help a brutha/sista out!

Namaste, Bitches.

-A.